Saturday, October 29, 2005

A Few Laughs..


13 Differences between Women and Men

1. NAMES:

If Shalini, Divya, Ekta and Arti go out for lunch, they will call each other Shalini, Divya, Ekta and Arti .

If Mayank, Chandar, Rahul and Tushar go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Lamboo, Saand, Ganja and Machhar.

2. EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mayank, Chandar, Rahul and Tushar will each throw in a Rs.20, even though it's only for Rs.32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY:

A man will pay Rs.2 for a Rs.1 item he needs

A woman will pay Rs.1 for a Rs.2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


4. BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


5. ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS:

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. FINAL THOUGHT:

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

GoogleEarth

Amongst the very workable and popular ventures that Google has explored comes one that might result in a potential terrorist attack. I am not kidding. Many of you would have heard of GoogleEarth, a new software that allows you to see any part of the world. You're probably wondering what's the difference between that and a map? Well...considering the fact that you would be able to see airplanes if you zoomed into any airport, it is rather what one may call 'high-tech'. Even the Indian Prime Minister has stated that the software may be used for the wrong purposes. Considering the fact that his residence is so prominently shown on it, i don't blame him. Even though the pictures are outdated and terrorists may get the same information from other sources, isn't this like spoon-feeding them information? And to think...we are supposed to be fighting terror...the irony.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Some Marriage's Insight

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. -- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -- Milton Berle

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- George Burns

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. -- Cindy Garner

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." -- Henny Youngman

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -- Henny Youngman

People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. -- Erma Bombeck

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Credits :Anonymous (And obviously male)

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Crippling Heat

We are all feeling the extreme heat waves as the temperature rises an all time high here. Of course, it just makes me believe more in my stand that the world is coming to an end. But i wish it would hurry up and happen already because i am in no mood to sit for my exams. My study break has started and the last day of school was quite sad. I don't think it'll be the students that i'll be missing more but the teachers. I now truly appreciate how hardwoking our teachers are. I think our school is the only one which has night study practically the whole week and to top that off, i think we get the most practise papers. Our poor teachers didn't even have any marking days after the prelims...like most others schools did. It makes me wonder sometimes..no matter how great and educated a person might become...he would always owe some of his success to his teachers, at least to a certain extent. Enough crapping for now...i promise i will write something more interesting next time.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Utter amusement

Me: Hey, how are you doing?
Him: Yeah..alright. You?
Me: Quite stressed but alright. There's alot of static, you're using your handphone?
Him: No...mobile.

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