Sunday, November 27, 2005

Sensitive Guy


Sensitive Guy

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Bill says, "OK, I`m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I`ll do it."

2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack.

Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?"

"Steve`s wife gave it to me."

"That`s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

Bill says,"Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, `You must be Steve`s
widow.`

" She said, "`No, I`m not a widow."

And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?"

Credits: jokesgallery & stogiebros

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Finally...!


After fifteen years of utter madness, Laloo Prasad Yadav's party has finally lost in the Bihar elections. Now, it makes you wonder why the people didn't have common sense to do it earlier. Well...you can't blame them when they have people threatening their lives if they were not to vote for his party. But why hasn't that same senario happened this year? God knows. I still remember in that one programme on television when director Mahesh Bhatt said how he admired Laloo, one of the reasons being that he did not let a single riot take place in Bihar when Bombay was faced with so many. When will these people, who have not an ounce of common sense in them, realise that the reason for that was because if there were to be any riots in the first place, they would be by Laloo's hired thugs. And if you're wondering what could be so horrible about this man? Well...why don't you ask the people who lived there and just walked out of the state...not selling their house and hardly taking anything with them...just to get away. Why don't they sell their house? Well....someone would only want to buy it if they wanted to live there...which no one does. And believe me...things have got to be bad if someone can just walk out of the house they spent years saving for. But in the end...it's good that things are finally going the right way...i hope. Corruption is soo rampant that it has become a part of everyday life. But then again...that's what life is about. Good versus the evil.

Credits for picture: outlookindia

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Marriage's reality

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:

* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.*
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.*
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere


There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.

A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -- Helen Rowland

Credits: ahajokes

Shocking times


I am extremely sure you all have heard of the recent 'shooting' in the US. The appauling thing about it is that a student shot his vice-principal and pricipal and the vice-principal ended up dead. Does it not make you wonder how a child of fifteen could ever have committed such a ghastly act? What is the world coming to.....? Does it not shock you more that this piece of news was printed in our national papers in the 5th page...about a 10 by 10cm piece of news. What can that possibly hint to one? That everytime something terrible like this happens in the 'superpower' country...its allies feel that the entire incident should be downplayed. Or perhaps people are so used to this violence that they don't feel anything special about this incident. Then....all i can say is...God save the World.

Photograph: Signs and flowers in honour of the victims.

Credits for photograph: cbsnews

Friday, November 18, 2005

Special Trick


Special Trick

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear?" she asked. The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."

Credits: jokesgallery

5 things I learnt in the toilet

~5 things I learnt in the toilet~

1. Don't have a hot shower if your mom is below the exhaust. She might think something's on fire.

2. The lizard on the door will refuse to move even if you throw water at it.

3. The light above is not a good place to spray water at, especially when it is uncovered.

4. Red means hot..blue means cold....No color means your shower is faulty

5. Dumping rubbish into the bowl and watching it swirl after flushing may have serious consequences later on...when it refuses to go in


Credits: Me

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Insight

The kind of guy who says that he can look at you all day and wants to do so for the rest of his life is the most dangerous.

Why?

He'll marry you, take a life-size picture of you...and throw you out of the house because you can talk and the picture can't.

Credits: Me

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